I couldn’t even begin to count how many mistakes I have made as a parent. I sometimes think of things I did when my children were smaller, versus things I may do now. There’s also a difference in the way I’m raising my smaller children versus the way I raised my adult children. Along these journeys, I have made countless mistakes and some bad decisions. Not because I’m a bad mother, but because: I’m human.
As women, we tend to beat ourselves up about everything and we also tend to be extremely critical of ourselves. “You’re your own worst enemy”. I’ve heard that so many times in my life. I’ve gotten upset about a decision I’ve made and stressed myself out unnecessarily. If I could go back and give myself one small piece of advice it would simply be to relax. Everyone suffers from a little anxiety from time to time, but others increase that anxiety when they are constantly second guessing themselves about every minor decision they make.
Looking back, yes, I made mistakes. However, I was able to pull through every single one of them. I can even laugh about some of those things today.
When it comes to mistakes, there are a few things to consider. What did I learn? What was the outcome of this mistake? What factors could have changed that outcome? Was this situation avoidable? I’ve always been a somewhat analytical person so I analyze decisions that I have made and try and map out how to avoid them in the future.
Here’s a little activity. Try and write down big and small decisions and do simple tasks as a pro and con list, or some sort of scoring model. Then add key points and little notes for each. I’ve learned that having something tangible and visual usually helps in making decisions because you’re able to visualize possible outcomes. This can be used for big decisions on whether to go back to college or where to vacation with the family, or even where to have dinner Saturday night.
Remember to trust your instincts. Know that you are human. Know that mistakes will happen and that you will pull through. Nothing is ever as bad as it seems.