Dating is hard. Being a single mom and dating is even harder. My number one issue is time. After a busy week, the first thing I want to do is relax, not get all dressed up to go meet with someone I may or may not even like. Most of my weekends are filled with activities with the kids anyway. I’ve also gotten to the point in my life that I have very little tolerance for nonsense from the opposite sex.
Trust is also a huge problem for me when it comes to my children and bringing a man into my home. I’ve seen countless stories about men doing terrible things to children of women whom they were dating. I’ve also read stories where men will target a single woman for that specific reason of getting into contact with her children. My kids are my life and I can’t even imagine being the reason that someone bad comes into their lives.
Meeting people is also tough when you’re a single mom. As mentioned above, a lot of the activities I do are kid oriented. I’ve tried several dating websites but there seems to be very few quality, or genuine men, in my experiences. I never make it past the first month. The few times that I’ve actually made it out with friends to a nice restaurant or bar, men don’t seem to approach as they did in my 20’s. I’m guessing that’s one of those perks of getting older. I’ve heard about singles events like speed dating, but have yet to try those. I might look into that or possibly some networking with friends to try blind dating, which I’ve never done.
I’ve been divorced almost 8 years and have not been on a date in 2 years. In that time, I have learned a lot about myself and I can fully appreciate the woman that I am. I’ve learned what I really like and dislike in men and what I really want in that person. I’ve learned what type of relationship I truly want and what I have to offer that individual. I’m not just expecting so much out of them, but I expect a lot out of myself. I don’t want to make the same mistakes as previous relationships and I don’t want to end up in a meaningless relationship.
I do know that in my next relationship, I will be more prepared than I have ever been as far as mentally, emotionally and spiritually. I have gotten to know myself very well the last few years and that has been a great learning experience. I love who I am, what I have overcome, what I have accomplished and who I am trying to be. I’ve also learned that there is nothing wrong with me not being in a relationship and being single is okay. There are too many negative connotations attached to being a single mom that can play tricks on the mind. I believe that stigma leads to women staying in bad relationships longer than they need to be, which can be unhealthy for the woman but also any children involved.
I can truly say I love my life and the people in it. If I choose to bring someone else into this equation, I have to make sure they are a right fit for me and my children. And when that time comes, I’m sure I’ll know.