In my family, we spend a lot of time together, and I love it. But how much of that time is spent with each child individually? Unfortunately as a single parent, there isn’t always an opportunity to be alone with just one child at a time.
When we are together as a group, just me and the kids, we laugh, play, joke around, and generally have fun. But it rarely involves intimate moments or candid conversations because everyone is around.
This is why I try to take time with each individual child and give them their “mom time”. This is where I will spend time with just one child so that they are free to talk to me about whatever they would like, or just have my undivided attention without a sibling interrupting. Siblings tend to give each other a hard time so feeling free to speak without that pressure is important.
I notice a huge difference in the conversations when I am alone with each individual child. My son, also my youngest, loves to tell me all kind of facts he knows, get my opinion on things or just casually carry on conversation with me about random things. He speaks freely and comfortably without the girls around. He also seems way more relaxed when it’s just us.
My daughters love to take shopping trips with me or short errands for their alone time. There we get to speak about their feelings, any issues they may be having or just enjoy each other’s company. I also notice they will share more when it’s just us because there is no judgment. We always want our kids to be honest and feel free to speak to us, but if we don’t make time for them, they’ll never get to tell you what they are feeling.
I love this time with the kids and I try to give each kid their “mom time” each week, even if only an hour. Sometimes this will be just coming in my bedroom and shutting the door and having private conversations, we don’t always have to leave to get individual time. Children just need to feel that they have their parent’s attention at least some of the time.
Try and schedule some time with your little ones (big kids too) next week. Give each child at least an hour of your undivided attention and let them know they can talk to you about any and everything. Let them know you are just there to listen. They’ll appreciate you focusing on just them.